Do you sometimes wish that you were better at setting boundaries?
That you could say No to a client that doesn’t feel right for you?
Stand up for yourself in a negotiation?
Or stick to healthy work hours instead of constantly pushing yourself over the limit?
I’m going to make a sweeping statement here and say that we in general are brought up to not respect our own boundaries, let alone discover what they are.
Which means that we as adults can feel that something is “off” without being able to pinpoint exactly what or why.
Boundaries often get a bad rap because we tend to associate them with scarcity:
– If you say No to a client, you might not make enough money.
– If you stand up for yourself in a negotiation, the client will choose someone else.
– If you stick to healthy work hours, you will fall behind.
But in fact, the opposite is true: boundaries help you stand in your own strength, prioritize and focus. They help you reconnect with your integrity and communicate with clarity and confidence.
– Saying No to a client that isn’t right for you gives you more time for the people who you do want to work with.
– Standing up for yourself will have your clients respect and value you more.
– Sticking to healthy work routines is great for productivity and long-term health.
The bitterness that comes when boundaries are missing is a dark pond where you don’t want to swim. Moving away from that begins with three small steps:
1. Listening to yourself.
2. Trusting what you hear.
3. Making aligned decisions.
Like any new habit, learning to set healthy boundaries takes practice. Start with something easy and non-threatening. Repeat and expand when you are ready.
With love,
Sanna xo
PS. It’s OK to stumble and fall. If you find yourself overstepping your own boundaries, then don’t beat yourself up about it. That is not helpful. Instead, ask yourself why that happened – and what you will do differently next time.
